9. Affection and emotional love
CHAPTER TWO: THE PERSON AND LOVE
II . PSYCHOLOGICAL ANALYSIS OF LOVE
9. Affection and emotional love
must set a clear distinction between affection and sensuality. We said above that the impression is often accompanied by emotion. Although the impression given by the object is sensory, emotion can be directed towards non-material values. Direct contact of men and women always causes an impression that can accompanied by an emotion. When it aims sexual values \u200b\u200bof only the body, considered as a possible object of pleasure, then, is a manifestation of sensuality. This, however, is not necessary because these values \u200b\u200bcan be linked to the whole person of the opposite sex. In that case, the object of emotion is for women the value of "masculinity" and the man of "femininity." The first can be associated, for example, the impression of strength, the second to the charm, both linked with the whole person of the opposite sex and not just your body. Now, would that affect this right call (which is not excitability ) of interaction to the sexual values \u200b\u200bof the person of the opposite sex in Overall, faculty react to the femininity or masculinity.
Affectivity is the source of loving-kindness. It is very different from sensuality, especially since its base as to its content. Because both of the same base are sensory intuition. The perception leads to the whole person all-female or male. Sensuality is not fixed in the body rather than divorced from everything else and it draws attention to everything. By contrast, the affective (as perception) reacts to the whole person. Perceived sexual values \u200b\u200bare referred to the whole person and not limited to your body. So orientation enjoyment, so typical for sensuality, not highlighted in the emotions. This is not "consumer." This may allow for contemplative moments related to beauty, perception d and the aesthetic for example. The affection of a man is imbued with admiration for the feminine, the woman's admiration for masculinity, but within its limits not shown any desire for pleasure.
affectivity appears to be free of lust, while sensuality is full of it. In the emotional excitement are felt a desire and need different approach and the exclusivity and intimacy, the desire to be alone and always together. emotional love about the two people, but always moving in the orbit of each other, even when, physically, are far apart. Absorbs memory and imagination, while the will is communicated. Not stimulates, attracts more charm exerted on it. The person involved in this atmosphere that always stays in the vicinity of that which it is bound by the affectionate love. When a man and a woman united by such love are together, they look for external means of expressing what unites them. Such are these various expressions of affection, looks, words, gestures, approach -consciously now I avoid adding "bodies" because the emotions are like both, and especially women, which is something incorporeal. In fact, it is oriented toward the body and sensuality. For this compares as often affectionate love to spiritual love.
is clear that this shared approach that is an expression of mutual affection, but from directly of feeling, can easily slip into sensuality. This will not appear out of the blue, back, as is manifestly to the carnal pleasure, but latent, hidden in the hobby. It seems that here there is a difference significant between the experience of men and women. It is generally recognized that women are of his more emotional and sensual man. We have already stressed above that characteristic feature of sensuality: the persecution of sexual values \u200b\u200bof the body considered as an object d and pleasure . However, this feature seems more marked in men, crystallizes more rapidly in their awareness and attitude. The very structure of psyche and personality of man is the fastest way that women feel compelled to demonstrate and express what that is hidden in it. This is related to the role of man in love, and their responsibilities. In women, however, as sensuality is concealed in the emotions. For this she feels compelled to see him still as a test of emotional love that man knows that the action is the sensuality and the desire of enjoyment. There is, therefore, as shown, some psychological difference between the love of men and women. This seems rather passive from this point of view, although it is active from another. In any case, their roles and responsibilities differ from those of men.
become even to we said earlier about affection and affectionate love. The emotion linked to the perception is to the sexual values \u200b\u200bof the whole person all by itself and is not oriented the pleasure. Therefore, the central value, the subject of emotional excitement, can produce significant processes. Thus, under the influence of the fans the value of its object often enlarges disproportionately . Because love affective is under the influence d and the imagination and memory, although it affects them. Así es, sin duda, como se explica el hecho de atribuir al objeto del amor diversos valores de que puede estar desprovisto. Son estos valores ideales, no reales. Existen en la conciencia de aquel que ama con amor afectivo y se los aplica después de haberlos sacado del subconsciente. La afición es fecunda: porque quiere el hombre y desea que diversos valores se encuentren en la persona que es el objeto de su amor, el sentimiento los crea y se los atribuye a fin de que su embalamiento afectivo sea tanto más completo.
This phenomenon d and idealization of the person subject of love is well known. Typically, especially young master. The ideal man wins as it is, it will only give you the opportunity of appearance in emotional awareness of the values \u200b\u200bto which people feel driven and that in fact attributed to person beloved. Little matter that they are yours truly. This person, as we say, not so much the subject as a pretext for the emotional love . The affection is subjective, and feeds-often to excess, especially of those values \u200b\u200bwhich brings love and to attract, intentionally or not intentionally. This is another difference between affection and sensuality, which is objective in its own way: it feeds on sexual values \u200b\u200bof the body of the object of lust; understood it is an object of desire and not of love.
seems, however, that this particular feature of human affection just to emphasize, is the main source of the weakness of loving-kindness. This is characterized by ambivalence significant : first, looks for d and the loved one, the approach and the expressions of affection, and the other is isolated, because and not draws on real values \u200b\u200bof their subject, but alive, so say, at the expense of it, entertained by the ideal values \u200b\u200bto the which is attracted. why affectionate love is often a cause of disappointment. may be a disappointment, especially when it comes to women, as over time, fans of the man appears simplemnte as a veil concealing the lust, even the will to enjoy. A disappointment for both women and men, when the values \u200b\u200battributed to person beloved fictional show. The dissonance between ideal and reality sometimes extinguished affectionate love turns to hate even emotional. This, in turn, on principle (or nature) do not perceive the qualities of which is provided with the other really. Thus, it is difficult to say whether the fertility within the fans and the provision to idealize the object of love is a force or, conversely, a weakness of loving-kindness. But we know for certain that this constitutes a sufficient basis for man-woman relationship. The fans need to integrate as well as sensual desire. If love is merely the sensuality, even sex - appeal , not love, but only use one person for another, eventually mutual use. And if merely the affection, love will not be robust in the sense of the word, the two people are somewhat separated from one another, despite appearances to the contrary. The fans suffer from subjectivity , there is only one of elements that form the basis of objective and mature love is modeled and perfected, while also drawing from other sources. The mere hobby can not create it, left to itself, it also can ensure that there is more than an attitude of enjoyment . Return to this chapter III .
Meanwhile, we will examine the creative energies of love target energies of the human spirit, through which met perfectly integration love.
Photo: Jamie Grill-www.gettyimages.com
SOURCE: Book Love and Responsibility. Study of sexual morality. By: Cardinal Karol Wojtyla (Juan Pablo II ). Pages : 119-124. Second edition in Castilian. Edit . Reason and faith, SA Madrid, 1978. (First Polish edition: 1960, Second Edition: 1962)
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